The Waning Moon
by DarkArticle
Summary: It's Luna's 4th year at Hogwarts. Umbridge's new rules and rumours of You-Know-Who's return are all anyone can talk about. But Luna is fighting her own demons after years of bullying and torment finally get to her she finds a new part of herself, one that's cold and frightening. Rated M for mature content: eating disorders, self injury and sexual content. Eventual Draco/Luna
1. Chapter 1

AN: Hi guys, sorry I totally bailed on Fires of Spring, it just wasn't inspiring me, I might rewrite it after I've finished with this!

Luna is struggling in her 4th of Hogwarts and the most unlikely of friendships form. Eventual Draco/Luna (maybe)

*Trigger warning throughout as this fic includes eating disorders, self harm and bullying

**I know Evanna Lynch herself struggled with an eating disorder and this has no relevance to her personal struggles nor is it mocking / glorifying eating disorders in general. This is a subject that is close to home for myself and a lot of people on this site and is no way meant to offend anyone.

***I do not own the wonderful Harry Potter franchinse (all hail queen Jo) this is just my ramblings that I hope you all enjoy! R&R please!

"I see them too. You're just as sane as I am."

And that's when they first met, in the only carriage left. The white blonde doe eyed girl reading that magazine upside down as if it were the most normal thing in the world.

"This is Loony- Luna Lovegood."

Luna was used to the cruelness of people, but always saw the good in them. She had always been Loony, the taunts relayed in her head as the girls from her dormitory wrote it on her forehead in permanent ink, as they slapped and kicked her and pushed her down the stairs, as they carved into her possessions just as the word had been carved into her heart, a reminder that she will always be Loony Lovegood. The strange girl, not even a girl, a peculiar creature. A peculiar creature who'd been bullied ever since she set foot in the castle. A peculiar creature who'd put on a brave face and blame the nargles for her missing shoes when she knew who it really was. A peculiar creature who'd finally let actions and words that speak as loud as each other get to her, they trapped her free spirit, they sucked it out of her, all that remains is a hollow girl.

Luna had always loved the start of year feast, the hearty food to warm the soul and the masses of puddings that never failed to put a smile on her face. But this year she dared not touch a single morsel, a plate of steamed vegetables would suffice. She allowed herself one profiterole because they never had them at home, and another because they were her favourite, and another because she hadn't had one in the longest time. After profiterole number 21 she stopped, Luna was full to the brim and feeling slightly nauseous, not because of the sickly sweetness of the desert but the fact she had eaten so much.

Luna ended dinner by exiting halfway through Dumbledore's speech.

"I'm tired, it's been a long day." She exclaimed.

The surrounding Ravenclaws nodded half heartedly, not really interested in her, or the speech, allowing Luna to slip off almost unnoticed. And the people who did notice didn't care, just shrugged and thought "There goes Loony Lovegood off to do another strange thing."

They were right in a sense, Loony Lovegood was off to do another strange thing, she was going to make herself throw up, to purge her body of the calories consumed, to purge her mind of worry that another pound shall be gained. She took a seat on the cold slabbed bathroom floor next to her favourite stall (it was near the end of the row of cubicles, and people rarely used it), stuck her fingers down her throat and heaved. Nothing. She tried again, and again, and again until finally she brought up her dinner. The acid burned her throat and the smell made her feel ill. Luna wiped her mouth with a square of tissue before flushing the evidence away. She took a drink from the water fountain to remove the taste of half digested food and acrid saliva. She washed her hands with half a bottle of soap to try and remove the distinct smell of vomit but the smell lingered on her skin. Like when you handle garlic and you still get a waft of it every now and then for the next few days.

By the time she had reached the Ravenclaw common room she had realised she didn't know the password, as she had not stuck around to find it out from a prefect. She took a seat on a nearby step and waited for everyone to come back from dinner. She stared at her watch, 5 minutes felt like an hour and the half an hour Luna had waited for the Ravenclaws to come back felt like an eternity. The first years stormed in, claiming the best beds and chattering loudly to their new friends. The memories of Luna's first day were similar, she couldn't wait for the years that lay ahead.

She saw a first year talking to an older girl, whom she could only assume was her sister because the two looked so alike.

"That's Loony Lovegood." whispered the older girl "She's mental."

The first year stared at Luna and giggled slightly as Luna tripped over her own feet, as if she were trying to escape the stare.

While the hoards of Ravenclaws remained in the common room gossiping about what happened over the summer and murmurs of You-Know-Who's apparent return Luna was glad to be in her bed. She put on her pyjamas (an oversized tie-dye shirt that had been her mothers many years ago) and stroked the carvings on the polished oak pillar. The familiar four posts that she'd slept in every year and the deep blue curtains surrounded her, to Luna they were an unbreakable wall, within the curtains she was safe and nothing could hurt her. She was also very glad her two way silencing charm was still in place, she can't hear the outside chatter and they can't hear her crying herself to sleep. She put her thumb in her mouth (not a common habit for a 14 year old but it was comforting nonetheless) and sobbed quietly into her pillow until she drifted off into deep sleep. She'd always been a very deep sleeper, this was taken advantage of by her room mates who managed to unlock her trunk and steal her things. When she awoke in the morning she was left with her uniform, some of her non uniform home clothes, 10 socks that didn't match, 1 shoe, none of her school books and a smashed inkwell. Luna frowned and let out a small sigh, she could hear some of the girls sniggering behind her.

"Why me?" She thought to herself. "Now I have to ask someone if I can borrow some their books." She sighed again. Luna hated being a burden but knew her friends would be more than willing to sort her out. Out of pity most likely.


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Chapter 2 is go! Chapter 3 might not be done for a while as I'm in a performance which has rehearsals after school everyday this week, plus there's a dress rehearsal all day Saturday so I will try and write bits here and there but it might be a short chapter! As usual please rate and review, it means a lot to me!

Breakfast time. Luna was dreading it. But managed to escape eating by going over to the Gryffindor table and asking Neville to lend her some old books. She felt bad taking advantage of his kind nature, but it was rather urgent.

"Neville I'm ever so sorry to bother you but it appears all of my school books have disappeared, I suspect nargles are behind it."

He smiled at her. "Of course Luna, I left all my old books here last year, I'd wondered why my remberall had gone red. I'll run up and get them after I've finished my breakfast."

"Thank you ever so much Neville." She hugged him, although the boy was slightly taken aback by this sudden movement, and proceeded to blush a shade of tomato red.

Luna sat with the Gryffindors for a while, and had two cups of tea while having a conversation with Harry about Umbridge.

"For such a horrible woman she seems to enjoy kittens quite a lot. I always thought kittens were for nice people. You don't see Voldemort with a kitten."

Harry smiled at Luna, her ramblings never failed to cheer him up.

"I think his snake would probably eat it Luna."

Luna took this into consideration. "I suppose."

Professor McMonagall signaled everybody to head off to their first lessons. Almost every first year opened maps and prefects herded them, leading them through the labyrinth of corridors that is Hogwarts. Luna had double potions first, potions was not her favourite subject, she was good at it and always got good marks if she put her mind to it (she was in Ravenclaw for a reason) but Professor Snape made her very anxious. While she was sure he was a perfectly charming man there was something about him. The way he looked at Luna like he knew everything about her made her feel very uncomfortable.

Potions went by fairly fast, they were creating antidotes to common poisons and before Luna knew it the lesson was coming to an end. Luna had a free lesson which she spent in the library, she took a detour to the kitchen to get a flask of tea. She had no homework to do because it was the first day of school, so she settled on a book about healing plants to pass the time. Some 5th years were also in the library, study was important to them as they would sitting their O. this year. As Luna sipped at her tea she looked intently Draco Malfoy, who seemed incredibly distant amongst his friends, who were talking about Quidditch tryouts. Draco caught Luna's gaze and gave her a brooding look, but not one to be put off Luna smiled at him, the corner of his mouth twitched, then his eyes darted back to his book. Luna smiled at everybody, whether they disliked her or not, it was great comfort when people smiled back, it felt like she had friends.

She finished her book which was actually very useful and made a note to experiment with the plants in the near future. The librarian announced that lunch was now being served. She frowned slightly amd proceeded to take the long walk from the library to the Great Hall. Luna entered the room and took a seat at the Ravenclaw table. She took some sandwiches off a plate in the center of the table and a few bits a fruit. In an hour she'd managed to eat a banana, an apple, some grapes, a satsuma, half a digestive biscuit (this was an accident, the other half dropped off in her tea) and had made a pitiful attempt at a cheese roll.

It was funny to her. She was surrounded by people, but she had never felt more alone. The voices of people talking past her, inside jokes that she was always outside of, a snide comment here and there about so and so's new haircut. People were fully emerged in a constant stream of chatter, but Luna had not even put a toe in to test the water.


End file.
